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The Navy Lark - Sir Willoughby At Shanghai

'Ladies and Gentlemen for the 200th time...'


'What everyone likes to do, is to get away from it all. The trouble with HMS Troutbridge is they take it all with them, whats even worse - they usually bring it all back again. Well Troutbrige is certainly getting away from it all this time, and the all that they are taking with them is Sir Willoughby and Lady Todhunter-Brown....'


The crew with their passengers are close to arriving at Shangai, with Sir Willoughby trying to find his speech admist his wifes collection of empty bottles. On the bridge Phillips is concerend about running into Fu Manchu, who hes afraid will turn him into a zombie and totally brainless,

'We all assumed you'd met him years ago!'

Coming into the harbour they demolish some local boats, manage to avoid (almost)the floating dry-dock, and make their way into dock, despite their concerns that there's noone to greet them.
After docking there's still noone to greet them, but Sir Willoughby starts his speech regardless. As Sir Willoughby goes through his speech, army lorries full of nasty looking army soldiers arrive on the quay side and open fire on them. As they make their escape Mr Phillips is certain he can make it through the middle of the dry-dock, but as normal his judgement is wrong and it ends up stuck to the front of the ship

At Captain Povey's office, Commander Bracewell from Intelligence calls Povey to tell him that Troutbridge has vanished and that as their commanding officer, he is being held responsible. Povey protests that it isn't his fault that Troutbridge got lost going to Shanklin on the Isle of White(Shanghai - Shanklin,). Despite his protests, Povey is told to expect a vist from Vice Admiral Burwasher to explain himself,

'Try and save your commission old man, but I wouldn't give you four new-pence for your chances!'

Burwasher arrives, and after five minutes talking to himself about tires and trading stamps, finnaly say goodmorning. Before he can follow this up however The Sea Lord phones Povey to report the siting of an unidentified-strangely-shaped-battle-cruiser near Solon,

'It's obviously not freindly as it's already rammed two American destroyers, five local fishing vessels and a rowing boat!'

The Sea Lord is sure that this unidentified-strangely-shaped-battle-cruiser has sunk Troutbridge, and holds Povey responsible. He hangs up saying they plan to attack the unidentified-strangely-shaped-battle-cruiser if it comes any closer to Britain, and to hell with consequences, as they'll all be Povey's.

On board Troutbridge, the crew are wondering why spotter planes are following them and trying to figure out a way to get the dry-dock off the front of the ship. Mr Phillips had been busy teaching english to two chinese men that were on the dock when it became part of Troutbridge,

'Oh gosh lumey chaps! Its been left hand down abit, all the way chaps!'

'Ooh nasty chaps1'

After Mr Phillips demonstrates how well they've picked up english, the chinese men, who they nickname Sweet and Sour, suggest they should get the dry-dock stuck on a sandbank, then try and free Troubridge from it by reversing out of it. Being the best suggestion they have, the crew decide to give it a go

At The Sea Lord's office, the Director of Naval Expenditure arrives to berrate Lord Quirk about the loss of Troutbridge. Commander Whetherby arrives to give the Sea Lord the lastest infromation on the unidentified-strangely-shaped-battle-cruiser, which has a strange launching pad at the front they think is for launching nuclear missles. Acting on this information Lord Quirk orders the Home Fleet to attack and destroy the ship.

Back on Troutbridge they've found a sandbank and finnally manage to free the ship from the dry-dock just as the Home Fleet starts shelling the area. Troutbridge speed away and at last set sail for Shanklin...

Taking part were:

WRN Chasen - Heather Chasen

Captain Povey - Richard Caldicot

Commander Murray - Stephen Murray

CPO Pertwee - Jon Pertwee

SL Phillips - Leslie Phillips

The Admiral - Tenniel Evans

The Sea Lord (Lord Quirk) - Tenniel Evans

Miss Simpkins - Heather Chasen

Marvin Ellis Director of Naval Expenditure - Leslie phillips

Commander Whetherby - Jon Pertwee

Sir Willoughby Toddhunterbrown - Tenniel Evans

Lady Toddhunterbrown - Heather Chasen

Vice Admiral Burwasher - Jon Pertwee

Commander Bracewell - Michael Bates

Sweet - Tenniel Evans

Sour - Michael Bates

Written By: Laurie Wyman and George Evans

Produced By: Alastair Scott Johnson